One of the biggest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and dignity. The concept or sensation that you are important in some unique way, that you are adored by a unique person, that an individual is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are attempting to hide our Sacred Self and are partaking in all these different games, which look to be very disconcerting. It is rather depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of special love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We labor so hard at turning into “improved people”, at obtaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be admired more and be more famous. The entire self-help field is focused on bettering the self so you can turn into a better you. That is another gimmick we secretly play on ourselves, thinking we have to keep turning our wheels trying to turn into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very calming when you start to grasp that you do not have to turn into any better than you already are. You were created perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a dread of divine love in my mind. I recognized this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being perceived as a puff of nothingness. That is the apprehension of intimacy. We discuss about this terror in relationships, which is sometimes depicted as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a fear of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the terror of getting swept away by a splendid love, a love so powerful that none of us can even fathom something as glorious and mighty!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something inappropriate, whether you’ve pleasured yourself, taken something, mistreated somebody, or there is something in your mind that you have considered as so horrible that you don’t even want to face it, you just want to overlook about it and push it out of notice.
Underneath all those reminiscences and thoughts, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we assume that it is true; We have considered it as horrific and have pushed it out of awareness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really provide yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally encounter this hidden belief in disunion!
Please, share any ideas and remarks with me below, I’d appreciate to hear about your experience!
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