One of the of the hugest secrets we attempt to keep is a sense of independence and self-esteem. The idea or feeling that you are significant in some special way, that you are adored by a particular person, that an individual is giving you distinctive attention, these are some of the ego’s very nuanced secrets. We are striving to hide our Divine Self and are partaking in all these diverse games, which seem to be very disconcerting. It is rather depressing and it really doesn’t go anywhere, so we try to get scraps of unique love, attention and recognition to prop ourselves up.
We labor so hard at becoming “superior people”, at obtaining greater intelligence and more skills. We want to be appreciated more and be more popular. The entire self-help field is focused on improving the self so you can become a better you. That is another scheme we secretly engage on ourselves, thinking we have to keep spinning our wheels trying to grow into better. This self-improvement game is another secret we can to learn to let go of. It is very soothing when you start to understand that you do not have to turn into any better than you presently are. You were formed perfect. It is not through self-improvement that you find tranquility but through self-acceptance.
As I engaged with A Course in Miracles, I could see that there was a fear of divine love in my mind. I realized this was the ego’s apprehension of losing itself. The ego is afraid of being uncovered and being viewed as a puff of nothingness. That is the dread of intimacy. We talk about this fear in relationships, which is sometimes portrayed as fear of sexual intimacy, but it is really a terror of dropping our persona, our mask of uniqueness. It is the terror of getting swept away by a glorious love, a love so strong that none of us can even imagine something as magnificent and powerful!
For me, those are the big secrets, because it doesn’t start off with this great awareness. It always starts with feeling like you have done something wrong, whether you’ve masturbated, stolen something, malhandled an individual, or there is something in your mind that you have judged as so hideous that you don’t even want to confront it, you just want to dismiss about it and push it out of consciousness.
Underneath all those memories and ideas, is the belief that we are separated. This is the “secret” we hide. It really is an unfeasible belief, but we think that it is true; We have judged it as terrible and have pushed it out of consciousness. All unconscious guilt comes from this belief in separation. And as you really offer yourself over to the miracle, you feel all those hidden beliefs and secrets are being washed away and you finally confront this hidden belief in division!
Please, share any thoughts and comments with me below, I’d love to hear about your journey!
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